Elementary

Mum's leaving tomorrow and I feel immensely sad.

In case you haven't already picked up on it, I adore my mother.
I've thoroughly relished all the time we've spent together; talking, laughing and of course, shopping and eating ( usually both at the same time!).

There's nothing like having your Mom around to fuss over you and feeling like a kid again.
Wonderful things like not having to think as much cause somebody's there to nag and remind you to do things like taking vitamins and eating right, and not having to worry as much because she's got it covered from dinner to toilet paper.

Plus, having her here has been a relief from the daily monotony and soul crushing of job hunting. To have someone tell you that you're more than good enough rather than trying to convince yourself is a huge comfort.

When she leaves I'm going to have to resume my life where I left off, and be an adult again.
I guess I'm dreading it because I haven't quite figured out how to be a successful one, nor set the standards of what I think constitutes adult success.

I've been called judgemental often in my recent life, for the fact I don't envy nor admire any of my peers. I like some of them, not a lot, but there isn't much about 20-somethings I want to emulate.

20-somethings are pretty much trying out everything they can to figure out who they are ( so much of it stupid) and groping in the dark so I don't really know anyone my age I think is a great role model.
It makes it all that much harder to define who I should try to be.
Its akin to a second adolescence only with less acne and better clothes.

Throughout my childhood I tried to be an adult and as it encroaches ( denial because HELLO I'm effing twenty five so its kind of already here) I find myself regressing.
I wish my Mom would stay forever but I know she can't and that I have to start living my own life.
Its just so much fun to pretend you know?

Michael Jackson - Childhood (Video)

This is one of my favourite MJ songs that not a lot of people know about compared to his bigger hits. Its semi autobiographical and always tugs at my heart strings for this man who was never allowed to be normal yet crucified for being different. RIP MJ.

The Real Peter Pan

Growing up in the 80's and being part of the first MTV generation, I will always remember Michael Jackson as a true musical icon.

The musical puppets of today with their image consultants, stylized videos and embarrassing public behavior have NOTHING on this guy. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, JT and OMG Miley Cyrus are on the top of the world now but ultimately forgettable.
Michael came from a time when music was original and personas even more so.

Imagine my horror when my NotSoLilBro denounces the death of Michael Jackson as no big deal, he being of the current emo generation who mock everything and listen to music made by people who also mock everything -_-

Want. To. Shake. Him. And. Force. Him. To. RECOGNISE.

But I know its not really his fault, MJ is not of his time.
His generation only knows him as a caricature, the image of plastic surgery gone bad , an accused child molester and poster boy for all round freakiness.
Sad to say, I'm afraid its also all he's been known for the last few years as his musical genius took a backseat to his apparent social akwardness.

However, now that he's dead, everybody wants to celebrate his life and his contribution to music. What is it about the current state of our society that likes to tear people down only to pay tribute to them after they are gone?
I really, really hope he knew how much he meant to so many people.
That his music was the soundtrack to so many of our childhoods and ultimately our lives.

Thank you for the music Michael.
We will never forget you.
I hope you are finally at peace now and I really hope that somewhere out there, you are free.

The Mothership Lands in Melbourne

click above for more!

Mother Bloom is visiting.
The apartment is clean, the NotSoLilBro and I have been overfed, and lots of shopping has been done.

Trying to cram in as much quality MotherDaughter time as possible.
We even attempted to navigate the dynamics of using my new rice cooker and making bak kut teh together! ( which considering my mother has never cooked a meal for us in my life (read: pampered), is the ULTIMATE symbol of motherly love )

I have an excellent relationship with my mother.
We have the same sense of humour and the same belly laugh.
We wear the same shoe size and both hate our ankles.
We get grumpy when we're hungry and tend to stare at strangers.
We like to gesticulate wildly and speak way too fast.

She is awesome and I already know that when she leaves, a part of me will go with her.
This whole growing up and living your own life thing really sucks sometimes.

Point Break

Feeling tired and utterly defeated.
The fight is draining all my emotional resources.

I never prepared myself for possibly not being good enough in this arena.
It never occurred to me, not even once, that I would ever be not good enough for anything.

I was the primary school Head Prefect and Student of the Year.
I scored 4As in UPSR, 7As in PMR and 7A1s in SPM.
I graduated with an average of 86 percent from Taylor's Canadian Pre University and attained the award for the highest average score in Business Studies for the entire graduating class.
I went to Melbourne Uni AND did a Master's degree there.

Nothing in my life ever prepared me for this.

But it is my fault I am here.
The recession may not be, but it was my choice to job hunt here.
A place where I have no roots, no history, and no contacts.
Where my accent isn't quite right and my ethnicity is only comfortable to the cultured and the familiar.
Where I am looking to break into a difficult industry that (secretly) requires all of the above.

With all the odds against me, how much more before I stop fighting the winds of fate?
Time is running out.

My Face Is Frozen

Its been a cold but productive day.

I spent most of it trying to locate suitable (read: luxurious) accomodation for the weekend getaway to Dandenong Ranges and Mt. Buller I've planned for The Mothership's stay in Melbourne.

Let me tell you now its quite a feat to book for four adults ( parent, self, other half,sibling).
The parent also insists on adjoining rooms or shared living area, at least a four star rating, and the boys obviously want separate beds -_-

With most accomodation in the Dandenong Ranges requiring a minimum two night stay and usually catering for couple's dirty weekends, its been impossible to book one night for a girl and her boyfriend, her brother and her mom aka An Akward Combination.

I finally decided to eff that option and booked The Sebel Heritage Yarra Valley instead which isn't too far away from the Dandenong Ranges.
I also booked the last available Chalet that accomodates four adults at Hotel Pension Grimus on Mt. Buller.
(I'm proud of that too as snow season is starting so everything up there is filling up like its free!)

Both accomodations booked with advance notice of only a week.
Both inclusive of next day full buffet breakfast.
Both rated FIVE EFFING STARS.

I would be a friggin awesome travel agent.

ps. I now know why bogans wear sweatpants and shirts. Tres comfy!
pps. I need Ugg boots now!

100609

I have a love-hate relationship with my computer right now.
Both physically and emotionally.

Physically:

My battery is D.E.A.D.
The very second the plug is pulled out it proceeds to hibernate and I'm left with no option but to restart. I guess that's what you get for buying dirt cheap batteries off Ebay.
We had a good run though.

Emotionally:

My computer is the hub of all job hunting.
I loathe looking at it for that very reason.
It houses every ad found, every cv and letter sent, every communication, every bloody rejection.
Thank God for the delete button in this instant world of ours.
Imagine the papertrail of not-good-enough otherwise!

So forgive me if my blogging is erratic.
Sometimes it just gets too much and I don't turn it on for days ( if I can handle the idea of coming back to an avalanche in my inbox).

Not much to report but I did have a great long weekend.
I love weekends as much as the employed.
It means less jobs get posted nor is anyone in the office to process them till Monday so I can have a breather and do nothing without the usual guilt that comes with it on weekdays.
Plus I get to hang out all day with my favourite person :)

Highlights of the long weekend include the Good Food and Wine Show at the Melbourne Exhibition Centre.
We spent the entire day there sampling EVERYTHING at the stalls and drinking ourselves silly.
We had so much we didn't even need lunch or dinner; cheeses,meats,chocolate,biscuits,nougat, daquiris, nuts, kimchi etc plus endless wine tastings.
I'm certain I had around two glasses ( my limit) of wine in total and the boy had maybe 6 glasses of beer, wine and liquer.
Oh and we caught the MasterChef cooking demo too (I'm such a FAN)
All this for the price of the ticket which was around AUD 30 each I think.
Absolutely worth it!

I also did way too much shopping and I am broke for the month.
Yes, I realize its only the start but everything is on SALE!
I bought:

- 600 thread count pillowcases
- bamboo chopping board
- colourful cereal bowl and matching cup (to brighten up my morning brekkie)
- AMAZING vintage sequinned cropped jacket
- fleecy trackies to dag about with at home
- NIKE tshirts for the gym
- Two tshirts and two tunic tops

Can I just reiterate that everything I bought was majorly discounted :)
Except for the vintage jacket but its the kind of thing people dream of finding in a vintage store.
Can't wait for the next weekend!

Weekend Blips

Ms. Bloom + Marinara @ Il Solito Posto

• Have been living in Peter Alexander Wide Leg Pyjama Sets. LOVE the fact I wear an 'S' in the brand ( believe it or not)! Flannel forever.
• Alphonse has a secret honey stash in his hood :) SSSHHHHH!
• The mothership is landing next Sunday. The cleaners are already on standby.
• Bright lippy is my current winter uniform. On current rotation: Fuschia, Blood Orange and Vintage Red Red Red. Matt = Modern.
• Craving nuked flavoured oats and bananas for breakfast these days. I think I overdid the smoked salmon + eggs + toast thing, can't stand the sight of em anymore.
• Recent investments: black trench coat, black long leather gloves and black 3/4 sleeve wool coat. Will get heaps of wear out of them.
• Target's 400 thread count sheets are slightly retarded but do the job.
• Lusting after: Nude patent pumps + Black ankle boots = YUM!
• Waiting for: Transformers 2
  
• Nerdy Addicition: Merlin :)