Inside Out

I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to be happy.

Flat

"You're burnt out and it happens to everyone."
" Your judgment and decision making is impaired right now."
" You may not have realized it but your postgraduate studies really took a toll on your body."
" Your stress levels have compromised your immune system and possibly brought out any health problems you're genetically predisposed to."
" Now that your academic phase is over, you no longer know how to define yourself."
" You need to stop with the should's. No more negative thoughts."
" I need you to tell yourself that you are in a transitional place and you are finding yourself and it is okay to do so."
" You have always been looking for yourself."


I could have hugged her.

I never cease to be impressed with my level of self awareness, disdain for convention and willingness to do whatever it takes to find happiness, contentment and peace.

To the ones who helped me get here,
THANK YOU.
You know who you are :)

The Singing Flowergirl

So I've toyed with the idea of a video post for a while.
But I've never done one because I personally find it a bit jarring when I watch other blogger's video posts because I've formed this romanticized idea of them in my head, and then you hear them speak and act and its nothing like I imagined so I feel a bit.. disappointed?

As such, I've decided to put up this very, very rough recording of me singing instead.
Hopefully this is a better alternative and you don't get as disappointed.
Here I'm singing a duet with some random Youtube recording ( as you do :) ) so pardon the sound quality - no professional equipment, no mike, just my trusty Macbook!

Its 'We Could Be In Love' by Lea Salonga and Brad Kane and I dedicate this to my newly engaged friend IndoSabby (*tears*) who sang this with me not too long ago during a spastic crazy girlfriends moment and who has been in love with this song as long as I have.
We're talking 80's baby ;P

Enjoy and excuse my over dramatic expressions :)


p.s.

I have a gig on Sunday :)
That is all.

Hermit Crab

My face and neck has been itching all day.
I took a 24 hour antihistamine and I'm still scratching.
Now I'm physically manifesting my despair :(

Spent the entire day in worrying, eating, worrying, watching tv, worrying, reading and the beat goes on.
Emotional purgatory necessitates Vodka and my best ladies Celine and Whitney.
How did I become more Bridget Jones than Carrie Bradshaw?

Painted my nails though to attempt a semblance of the frivolity that I often use for definition.
Hit the online shops too in the attempt to have something to look forward to next week.
You can call it emotional spending but I call it insurance for happy surprises ahead :)

An unexpected encounter with an incredibly elusive girlfriend who most people believe to be imaginary led to some raw insights and some cold hard truth.

I've lived so much for my precious few.
I hold on to past joys like some child's smelly blanket.
How much nostalgia and old 80's songs can a girl be made of?

I have decided to grow up.
I've ignored it for long enough but its red or blue pill time.
Time to wake up now.

Friday Night In

Un

+ Unread fashion magazines
+ Unwatched episodes of Glee, Gossip Girl and Grey's Anatomy
+ Rigatoni and meatballs
+ Fresh blueberries + strawberry nonfat yoghurt
+ Face and body scrub
+ Face + hair mask
+ Hair tonic + lashings of moisturizer + serum
+ Week's worth of laundry being done
+ Very comfy Sussan Night Owl Pyjamas

Its really not so bad :)


Deux

I now realize just how public this space has become.
The past, present and future all visit from time to time.
What makes you come here, love?


Trois

Girlfriends are the balm to so many wounds.
So. Very. Grateful.

Cravings

Pancakes

Penang Prawn Mee

I WANT :(

Keith Urban - Tonight I Wanna Cry

One of my favourite emo songs.